Several years ago I had an epiphany.
I realized we put so much energy into drama, it drains us for the good times in life.
My life had come to a breaking point. I decided at that moment to develop a new benchmark for my life.
I call it the Miller Energy Meter.
I ask myself a single question ~
Is this worth the energy?
I often find the answer is No. Then comes the tough part – letting it go.
Energy Meter
Think about the last time you got really upset.
If you cannot remember the specifics, the situation was probably not worth your energy.
Empowering Trouble
Have you ever felt like some people thrive on trouble-making?
- Snarky comments left on blogs
- Arguing for the sake of argument
- Spreading doom-and-gloom remarks
We humans have such a need for control. It’s one of the biggest games of life.
We can’t let the other guy win.
So, we rise to the occasion and shoot off an equally snarky remark, or argue back or pick up the doom and gloom banner.
Was your reaction worth the energy?
My No does not affect your Yes. Your response is your call.
Make the energy meter your own.
Finding the Sweet Spot
After my epiphany, I was in a good place.
I enjoyed the simple beauty of a walk outdoors, the power of words, and the tranquility of the musical note.
With one friend, I recognized I valued our friendship more than the angry righteousness when she was habitually late – I let it go.
I felt good about my professional response to an unintended email instead of an energy-draining battle of words – I let it go.
Finding the sweet spot is a daily struggle.
Giving in to knee-jerk responses is too easy. Breathing in relief is eye-opening.
Is this worth the energy?
Just Breathe
I find myself at a place when I need to recall my life lesson.
I am feeling drained and that tells me I have expended energy on life events that don’t deserve the time.
So, I just breathe and ask myself ~
Is this worth the energy?
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Live…Laugh…Love
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Yet one more reason I adore you, Cathy!
I’ve always been pretty much a go-with-the-flow kind of person. My nickname since infancy has been Patient Paula. (Sometimes that bites me in the behind, but I’d rather be patient than perpetually stressing over every little thing.)
You have your chronically late friend and I have a friend with a nearly pathological need to make everything about her. My birthday? About her. Another friend compliments my new haircut? She has to draw attention back to herself with, “I got my hair cut, too.” Clearly complaining to her about it would only give her more attention, so instead of making an issue of it with her I vent my frustration in imaginary conversations where I blurt out, “Sometimes it’s not about you!” (When she was saying her then 5-month old puppy wasn’t fully housebroken yet, I reminded her how she ignored my no-fail puppy potty training advice by encouraging him to use “piddle pads” if she didn’t want to take him outdoors. I said, “It’s not about you, it’s about the puppy,” and she said, “It’s always about me.” I ignored her and told the puppy, “It’s always about the puppy!”
Aw, thanks, Paula. The feeling’s mutual. I LOVE the idea of the imaginary conversation. What a great way to deal with the frustration.
Around the same time that I had my epiphany, I was hired at a company where my new boss was the poster child for laid-back. As my job was filled with traveling, he was the perfect mentor for not sweating the little stuff. Anyone who has ever been a road warrior understands stuff happens – all the time – on the road. You could make yourself nuts or just do like I did, turn up the music. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and energy, Paula. 😉
I love you too, Cathy – and this is very Zen it seems to me and fantastically great advice. See, free advices is sometimes priceless.
Back at ‘cha, Anne. I must get that Zen from you. 🙂
I love your epiphany, Cathy. 🙂
I know a few people who are always bitching and moaning — in public. Sure, it’s okay to vent once in a while, and I daresay it can be cathartic to do so. But at what point does one become addicted to the drama of it?
It’s way too easy to take things personally. “How dare he keep me waiting!” “How rude she was — she never asked how I was!” “No way I’m letting THAT slide!” But what do you gain by fighting all these little battles? Are these personal things or are they simply oversights, bad habits, or lousy decisions that affect us negatively (and unintentionally)?
I’m a big believer in expending energy on the things that matter. I’ve been known to go on in my own tangents, but sometimes I ask myself “Is this really worth letting all this negative energy into my life?”
Thanks, Lori. I constantly have to remind myself of that epiphany. 😉 You’re right, it’s easy to get caught up in the drama. Why else would “reality tv” be so popular? Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lori.